In our journey in this life, we each go through periods where we need to detach and release something or someone from our lives. Whether it is a lost loved one, a bad relationship, or a job that no longer provides fulfillment, letting go and moving on can be difficult and painful.
We move through out lives with a level of comfort and familiarity that causes us to become very attached to people or situations. We assume they are always going to be part of our lives. When something happens to change that, it can be startling to realize how much of your self has been intertwined or dependent upon these external sources. You may feel as if you are losing a part of your self, but that is just an illusion.
You may have depended upon a loved one to always take care of you. How can you possibly care for yourself the same way? Or you may have depended upon the income from a job to provide a roof over your head. How can you ever find a job that pays as much money? Or maybe a friend who was always there for you moves across the country. How will you ever find another friend to depend upon?
First, it is important to realize or remind yourself that we live in a friendly Universe. Whether you believe in God, or Love, or nothing in particular, a belief that everything will be OK is important. Think about similar past experiences and where you are now. You are still here. You are a survivor. What seemed scary or impossible to move on from back then has actually led you to where you are now. You can probably recall circumstances that seemed hopeless but turned out for the best in the end. Remind yourself of that and what that feels like.
It is natural to want to worry or be fearful when change happens in our lives. Change is scary! But what if we look beyond the fear and assume the best instead of the worst? What if that relationship that is ending is to make room for a new one? What if the job we’re walking away from is so a better one can come along? What if that friend moves across the country and we decide we want to move there, too?
With that change in perspective, you can begin to detach from your current situation. You can let go of that white knuckle fear and need to control a bit when you hold that belief that it will all be ok in the end. But how do you get there if the situation seems too overwhelming?
Daily meditation is a great way to start. Take 10-15 minutes each day to find a quiet space and clear your thoughts. Light a candle and just sit and be. As thoughts come to you, observe them without judgment. Then gently push them aside. The idea is to get to a state where you are no longer thinking. It takes practice and it first may seem impossible. This is where it is important to not judge yourself! But once you realize get to that state, it becomes easier to go there and stay there.
And it is in that state that you’ll find that true detachment becomes much easier. Oh sure, there are rituals and things you can do to detach as well. But ritual without belief will only provide a false relief. It is the state of contentment and optimism – that belief that your self is still whole – that is the important part. It doesn’t matter how you achieve it.
Once you’ve detached, you can release whatever it is from your life with the knowledge that something as good or better will come along to replace it. It always does!