Beyond the Surface
One of the most common challenges I face when teaching students to develop mediumship is helping them understand why describing physical appearance is rarely valuable. As student mediums, the instinct to describe a spirit communicator’s physical traits often feels natural. After all, we’re all clairvoyant, and seeing is believing, right? Not quite.
Physical traits can sometimes be relevant, but relying too much on surface-level information can weaken your connection. It can also confuse clients—especially if appearance is relied upon as an identifying trait. Here’s why:
1. The Subjectivity of Appearance
Describing physical traits can be very subjective. What counts as “long” hair? How do we define someone as “heavy”? Even details like eye color can change based on lighting or individual perception.
Take the viral “dress meme” for example. Millions of people debated whether the dress was white and gold or blue and black. What seemed straightforward sparked wildly different perceptions, showing just how subjective appearance can be. In mediumship, descriptions of physical traits often clash with how others perceived their loved ones in life.
2. The Evolving Nature of Physical Appearance
Think about it—how often do you or your loved ones change hairstyles, clothes, or even body shapes? Physical appearance shifts frequently over a lifetime, making it hard to use as a definitive identifier.
We all go through phases in life tied to appearance—phases we might rather forget. Whether it’s a bold experimental haircut, an awkward fashion choice, or a few extra pounds, appearance is fluid and inconsistent over time.
3. People Often Pay Little Attention to Appearance
Many people don’t notice or care much about physical appearance in daily life. For example, men are often stereotyped as rarely noticing clothing details, like whether someone wore the same outfit two days in a row.
Some spirit communicators may not have cared about appearance during their lives. For them, it might feel out of place for a medium to focus on physical traits. Instead, it’s far more meaningful to highlight other aspects of their essence that truly reflect who they were.
4. The Context of the Spirit’s Appearance
Spirits may present themselves at a specific age or with a particular look, but this is only a snapshot of their physical existence. Without context about when the spirit appeared this way, it becomes a challenge.
Was it their adolescence or just before they passed? Was it their prime or when they most want to be remembered? Or was it during the time they created lasting memories with the person at the reading? This context is usually lacking, adding to this type of evidence being confusing and unreliable.
5. The Generic Nature of Many Traits
Traits like brown hair, button-up shirts, and khaki pants are generic and almost universal. When trying to validate a connection, physical traits often lack the specificity needed to truly identify a loved one.
For instance, describing “an older man with glasses, a bit of a belly, thinning hair, and jeans” might be accurate. But it could easily describe several spirit communicators known to the client.
6. Limited Attention to Details
Most people struggle to recall specific physical traits about loved ones. Could you describe your best friend’s cheekbones? Or your mother’s exact hair color at a point in time?
Even if noticed, these details tend to fade with time. The longer someone is in the spirit world, the less likely we are to remember precise physical features. Instead, their essence—the feelings they created and the memories they shared—stands out far more vividly.
7. The Unreliability of Memory
At the heart of mediumship lies the connection to who someone truly was—not how they appeared at a moment in time. Memory itself is notoriously unreliable, especially when it comes to physical appearance. Even when we think we remember clearly, our minds often distort or reconstruct those details.
Because of this, it’s often difficult for a medium to get physical traits validated, which rarely hold importance once our loved ones have passed. What we cherish most isn’t their hairstyle or clothes. It’s the joy they brought and the person they were.
8. Surface-Level vs. Soul-Level Mediumship Evidence
As mediums, consider what truly defines a person. Their passions, quirks, and unforgettable moments are far more meaningful than their physical traits.
Imagine yourself in spirit. Would you want to be remembered for your wardrobe or for the laughter you brought into every room? Would you want a medium to waste time describing your hair or your weight when your loved one is waiting for a truly meaningful connection?
Challenge Yourself to Look Deeper
It’s easy to get visual evidence, especially for mediums who are strongly clairvoyant. But spirit communicators no longer have physical appearances. Mediums must focus on their true essence, which remains vivid and enduring. This deeper connection enriches readings and provides greater validation.
Now, I know some of my students love to prove me wrong and will eagerly share examples where they got a physical description that was spot-on and deeply relevant. And yes, there are always exceptions. If the physical appearance described is truly unique or conveys something truly meaningful about who the person truly was, it can be significant and memorable for the client. But far more often the physical descriptions are just confusing or a waste of time.
What truly elevates a reading is going beyond appearances to embrace the spirit’s essence—their personality, values, relationships, and the memories they held dear. This is the heart of meaningful mediumship. When you bring these qualities to life, you honor their spirit in a way that transcends the physical. Mediumship, in the end, is all about connection, understanding, and delivering messages that resonate with the soul, not the surface.
If you’re interested in learning more from Medium Tim Thomas, you can check out classes or book a one-on-one coaching session.
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